One of my daily routine is to wake up early in the morning is to send my boyfriend a good morning text then work. Sometimes I stay up late late just to talk to him even thought I need to wake up early for work. I love him, but sometimes I wanna just let go because all of the auguring and ignoring have been driving me crazy but then again “we’ve been thru so much together” so it’s not that easy to just let go. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m burning myself alive. One day I’ll be the happiest girl in the world!! one day you’ll find not going to work and sit in my room depressed talking to suicide prevention all day long. I mean, who else can I talk to? Cause when I really need someone to talk to… No one ever actually be there for me.. No one. Including “the one I always needed the most.” its hard to go on and be open to people when u know deep down they don’t really care. I mean, the best they can do is prob listen. Well, that’s good enough, but it’s even worse when they know youve got so much shit going on in life but still use those shit against you. It just funny how people can be so mean… MEAN. Sigh… I don’t even know the feeling of what u called HAPPINESS anymore. I don’t know what’s the point of living and being here when I’m basically invisible to everyone even u. It’s painful just to think about it